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Shorter: David Hay’s campaign

Nothing says cooperative eco-socialism like farting on your way out the door.

David: “Can I be a parliamentary candidate again, please?”

Greens: “Not sure. We’ll get back to you.”

David: “What! You’ve done it now. I demand one of your leaders step down to make room for… me!”

Greens: “Your application to be a parliamentary candidate has been declined.”

David: “What!! Now I demand both your leaders step down to make room for… me!”

Greens: “No.”

David: “What!!! Now I absolutely demand all your candidates and activists resign to protest in support of…me!. Everyone needs to learn from history. [Clears throat.] ‘First, they came for the Communists, and I didn’t speak out because I wasn’t a Communist. Then they came for…'”

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